Divorce After 50 For Men - The Transition

I'm writing this blog as an outlet for myself, as well as an awareness of what's out there for men after 50 who have recently gotten divorced.  I'm not angry or bitter. I'm just in shock at what I've seen so far.

After 24 years of marriage, getting out in the dating world was a complete shock. One of the first resources I think we innately turn to is online dating websites. I have many stories to share (and I will) on this blog as I want you to know what you're in for when it comes to these sites.

At first, I felt like a kid in a candy store. Let me paint a picture of myself to you. I am extremely fit (6' 183 lbs.), I workout 6 days a week and eat very clean. I would consider myself a good looking (been called handsome) man, who does not dress like the 55 years of age that I am. My daughter taught me to "own my shit" and not be afraid to show my off body through my clothes...so out went the Tommy Bahama clothes and in came the fitted jeans, t-shirts and cool shoes.

So... I'm feeling pretty good going into these dating websites, even though my age, as mentioned above (55) does not depict me at all. I've been guessed at early to mid-40's pretty consistently.

What Was I Looking For

Disclosure: What I'm going to talk about may seem a little shallow, but I want to "keep it real!" And... women talk all the time about physical chemistry, so let's proceed.

Women In Their 30's

This is where it got interesting. Being a confident man, and listening to what all my friends were saying (they said go after mid-30's women).  I quickly realized that is not for me. I knew this demographic would come with wanting kids or having young kids, and I did not want to be a dad again. My wonderful kids are grown, and I'm ready for my next phase. They also are looking for a provider, and sugar-daddy is not something I'm interested in.

Women In Their 40's

So now we are into the early 40's women. Even though that is still a healthy age difference I was okay with it in my head. What I liked about this demographic was many of them kept themselves in great shape, which for me is really important. I work my ass off to stay on top shape and my partner needs to honor that and do the same. If they don't we are not a good fit. Plain and simple.

The only issue with this age group is again kids are in the picture. Many of these women share time with their ex's so they have approximately 50% of their time for themselves, but moms will be moms and their priority will always be their children, so just be ready for that.

Women In Their 50's

I didn't even think I would consider this demographic even though it is my chronological age, as unfortunately in our country, men and women both that are in their 50's have let themselves go physically. This is a "no-go" for me. And with the online dating world (which I will discuss in more detail in other blog posts) it is the norm. Women post headshots only, and no body pictures, there is a reason why (hint: they are hiding their body). You set up a date, meet them and feel duped. I cannot count how many times that has happened to me. I will do a blog post just on what to watch out for when looking at a woman's online dating profile.

The plus side is their kids are grown, and some of them may be down for sex quickly, but my experience (and shock) is that the majority of them are battered emotionally from a previous marriage and sex is not even on their mind any longer. 

In Summary

I am looking forward to helping men who are 50 and above navigate the waters of being single after a divorce. Follow along as I share my experiences (some will be explicit) with you so you can be better armed to deal with the new world you are about to enter. 

Stay tuned and share this website with any of your male friends who are recently divorced. Let's see if we can create a a place where men can share their experiences. I do not want bitter, negative men commenting as that does no one any good. Just life experiences and solutions to speed up the learning curve.

Share your experiences below in the comments. Let's get this engagement cranking up fast!

Top resource For Divorced Men Over 50

The Rational Male 

Until next time,

Marco